I didn't pick her

Since beginning this blog, I knew I wanted to write about my friend Jamie. But each time I tried, I fell short.  I've spent many hours in front of my computer, staring at a blank screen, trying to figure out a way to explain what she means to me. How much I value her. Cherish her.

The word "friend" doesn't work; she's so much more than that. And the funny thing is, I didn't pick her. She and her husband came into my life as part of a "package deal" when I began dating their best friend (now my husband).

That was seven years ago. Throughout those first few years, we were friendly, but I wouldn't say we were friends. We didn't have much in common, to say the least.  After all, I was 22, fresh out of college, and still trying to figure out how to do laundry correctly.  Jamie, on the other hand, was four years older, married, and preparing for children. I remember thinking, "Wow. She is so....adult-ish. She probably irons things."

And I know she was thinking, "Wow. This chick has a lot of growing up to do." And she was right.

I can't say exactly when it happened, but sometime over the past seven years, something changed. I stopped simply looking up to her, and started looking to her. Big difference. She went from being one of my husband's best friends to one of mine, too.

I don't know how she expertly manages her many roles: wife, mother of four (under four), daughter, sister, teacher, blogger, and of course, friend. Her plate is full, yet she executes each role with such grace and love.  It's truly astounding.

Why do I love her? I love her because she's the kind of friend who asks me the hard questions and remembers the answers. The kind of person who grabs my arm when she's talking about something that she's passionate about, and makes me feel it, too.  I love her because she won't let me off the hook if I say "I'm fine," when she knows I'm not. And she's asking, because she really, really cares.

She's the kind of friend who worries with me. Loves with me. Hurts with me. Hopes with me. She's the person I go to for advice, for comfort, and especially if I need to process something - she has an uncanny ability to verbalize exactly what's on my heart. When my dad had to have emergency open heart surgery, she was the first person I called.  During surgery, she sent me hourly text messages reminding me that we were one hour closer to seeing him.  You see, she knows exactly what I need, sometimes before I even know it myself.

It's hard to imagine what I ever did without her in my life. And I didn't even pick her.