There's a new man in my life

 His name is Bob. It's still new, but I can really see it going somewhere. He's totally into me, inviting me over to his patio after my husband leaves for work. I hope the other neighbors don't get the wrong idea. But they probably aren't too worried. He's 80.

I knew Bob was friend-material from the moment we met. He called me over to his patio and offered me a graham cracker.  He's a sharer, that Mr. Bob. And I know that sharers make good friends.

See, the best thing about friends is that there is a choice.  You get to choose what kind of people you want to share your graham crackers with, so to speak.   As little children, choosing our friends is the first important, autonomous decision we really get to make.  Our parents teach us to share, to be kind to others, and to make good choices.  Then, they set us free in the scary world of preschool and hope that we make friends who have the same values.  But what they don't teach you is what makes a bad friend. That, we must learn on our own, through experience.

It's heartbreaking when you realize that a friendship just won't work, but you learn to be more selective in the future, and you develop a  checklist of traits to avoid. My checklist is short and sweet. For example, I know that a friendship between us will not work if you are:

1) Overly negative

2) Judgemental (of me)

3) Anti-animal (Now, you don't have to LOVE all of them. I hate rats and possums (big rats), for instance. But if you are one of those people who makes the blanket "I hate all animals" statement, then I think you must probably hate babies and rainbows, too, therefore violating Rule #1. ) 

4) A home wrecker (My home, or anyone else's.  If you are ok with having a hand in ruining someone's marriage, then I am not ok with you. Trust me on this, our morals are vastly different, and a friendship between us will not work.) 


5) A Nickelback fan (Sorry, but if you're a Nickelback fan, we should probably go our separate ways right now. It's not you, it's me Nickelback.  The same also applies for Shinedown, Creed, Daughtry, and other variations of Nickelback.  Again, trust me on this. Our morals are vastly different, and a friendship between us will probably not work.)

6) Growing or currently sporting a mustache that isn't part of a goatee or beard. (When was the last time you saw someone with JUST a mustache and thought, "Hey, that guy is probably awesome." The answer is never. (Except my father-in-law. Family doesn't count.)

Yep, Bob made the cut. He's positive, likes my dog, doesn't try to hit on me, and he's clean shaven.  We haven't discussed music preferences, but I'm really hoping that he's decidedly anti-Nickelback...because I feel that this is the start of something good.